This past Monday, I did something scary and felt really vulnerable. In the special episode, I talked about how I’m restructuring all my programs hoping to serve you better and help you get pregnant. But if I can be honest with you, it was kind of an emotional episode for me to record.
Before I hit publish for that episode, I went through a range of emotions. I was scared of being judged. In my head I was playing out what other people would say, like “oh there she goes again, wishy-washy, always changing things up.” Or “that was one huge sales pitch and she’s just using this as an opportunity to promote her program.” I also felt like I’ve let other people down. It felt like I had pulled the rug from underneath all the people that were perhaps thinking about joining the membership site. Also I felt like I’ve let myself down, like a failure that after two years here I am back at square one and still figuring things out.
Over the years, somehow I got it in my head that my self-worth is tied to how others think of me. I always feel like I have to maintain a certain image and have to be perfect.
But, I sort of had a moment after I hit publish on Monday for the special episode. As I worked through all my emotions, I said to myself, “wow, how will I inspire others to take action and face their fears if I am not leading by example.”
So that brings me to today’s episode.
I am going to take the first step towards conquering my fear of being judged or criticized by sharing something that I’ve been afraid to tell you.
This is going to be pretty deep, and I appreciate the fact that you’re giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts as I work towards more self compassion and more self acceptance.
So let’s dive in.